Funny Status..

Funny  Status

I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.....

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

Life is Short - Chat Fast!

If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

How can i miss something i never had?

Hey there whatsapp is using me.

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call... Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!

Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

You can never buy Love....But still you have to pay for it ..

If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I'll tell you more.

Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

When I'm a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I'm Driving I Hate Pedestrians...

Whoever says "Good Morning" on Monday's deserves to get slapped :)

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!

Save water drink beer.

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it

Always wear cute pajamas to bed you'll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me :P

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be "I left one million dollars in the...

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

My father always told me, 'Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.

Life is too short smile while you still have teeth...

My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

If College has taught us anything, it's texting without looking :)

I'm Jealous Of My Parents... I'll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

Here my dad comes on whatsapp... From now on my status would be '***no status***' or just a smiley...

Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

I Like to study.. Arithmetic - NO ... world history - NO .... chemistry - NO .... GIRLS - YES!!!

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! :P

People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p

In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!

C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping :)

Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)

Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

People who exercise live longer, but what's the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

It may look like I'm deep in thought, but 99% of the time I'm just thinking about what food to eat later.

Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you're going to die.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

We are WTF generation .... WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D

Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

It's been 70+ years, Tom. You're never going to eat Jerry :)

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :)

There's like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world ... huh

Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make a bad person.

I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, it's still not enough ;)

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz

The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight :)

I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ....... lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :)